Sexual Assault Voices of Calgary
Don't Be That Guy
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    • Breaking The Silence
    • Understanding Consent
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Getting Involved In This Issue

"We must remember that one determined person can make a significant difference, and that a small group of determined people can change the course of history"

- Sonia Johnson - 

Who can get involved in this issue?

It takes a community response to challenge the stereotypes that exist around this crime. We all need to work together to Break the Silence surrounding sexual assault.

Follow the link below for more information on how to:

Breaking The Silence

Why is this issue important?
For too long this issue has been shrouded in secrecy and silence. This silence needs to stop in order to affect change. We all need to educate ourselves about consent and sexual assault laws so that we can start the conversation around this crime.

In this section we want to give you the knowledge and language to talk about the importance of consent and start conversations around this issue with your friends and family.

Follow the link below for more information on:

Understanding Consent

Is it true?

Is it true that men “need” to have sex and that sometimes they just can’t control themselves?

No. Men can, and do, control themselves and their sexual desires.  Sexual assault is an act of violence against another person where sex is being used as the weapon.  It is a crime to commit an act of sexual assault. 

Is it true that people just misread the signals, I mean if someone isn’t into what’s happening they’ll just say so, right?

No. There are many different ways, verbal and non-verbal, to indicate to others that we are not into what is happening and we are generally good at reading them in other situations; think of situations where you invite someone for drinks and while they don’t say “no” you get the feeling that they’re not interested.  Or consider a situation where you wanted to go see a movie with friends and then grab some dinner afterward: you wouldn’t just gather them all up, put them in a car, and drive them to the theatre, you would ask each of them first if they were interested.

Sexual activity should be no different.  Any sexual activity requires clear, enthusiastic, on-going consent and if that is not present then you shouldn’t proceed.  If you are ever not sure if someone is into what is happening you can, and should, ask them directly.

Okay, sexual assault is definitely wrong and I would never blame the victim, but is it true that it's a 
two-way street? Aren’t both people partially responsible?

No. The responsibility for getting consent lies with the initiator.  If they didn’t get consent from their partner then the fault lies with them.  They may not know what they’re doing is sexual assault but not knowing or not intending to harm another is not an excuse and it would still be considered assault.

Is it true that people need to take responsibility and keep themselves safe, it’s fine to give tips so long as I’m coming from a good place right?

No. Telling someone to watch their drinks, not hang out with certain people, or not wear clothing that’s too revealing takes the focus off of the person committing the crime of sexual assault and puts it on the person experiencing the assault.  These kinds of messages also reinforce the notion that the sexual assault was “deserved” or understandable if the “tips” were not followed and people who experience the assault can start blaming themselves.
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